I have always found the outside perception of Black women fascinating, especially due to the media’s inherent manipulation of our image. Given the power that it has, the media perpetuates the stigmas and stereotypes of Black women into the rest of society to dissect, discuss, and ultimately, believe. While acknowledging the truth that comes with some of the claims that are presented, there still proves to be a disparaging amount of beliefs and ideologies that are false and harmful to Black women. How is it that Black women are expected to be “strong” and “overcomers” by nature, but at the same time have disproportionately less access or ability to get the resources that they need in order to heal, process, and cope? Believe it or not, there are times when we too need to ask for help, be cared after, and want to be held – all of which requires emotional vulnerability in the form of humble strength. 

In addition, we are often seen collectively seen as caregivers, which is wonderful and special in its own way, but also begs this question: who then takes care of the woman who is always taking care of others?

Just some food for thought.

The good news is that Black women are multilayered, multidimensional beings; we are not all the same and that’s okay! I know for myself I have had to really dig deep and ask if certain behaviors that I exude are because I’m genuinely feeling those things, or is it because I’m socially conditioned to believe that because of the way I look I have to act in a way that proves that I’m “Black enough”? 

Speaking of conditioning, there tends to be this preconceived notion that somehow struggle equates to strength. Black women are praised for coming out of difficult times, historically and in present day, but this can mislead people into believing that the trauma that we have gone through is WHY we are strong, further insinuating that we owe our strength to the pain. As Black women we are much more than that, and though we do collectively go through a lot, there are MANY positive and beautiful things that come with being a Black woman that rarely ever get a platform, especially in the media. I will say that things have gotten a LOT better over the recent years, and dark-skinned Black women are (finally) starting to get the representation that they deserve and are (finally) being seen as the symbols of beauty that they have always been, but it is still scratching the surface in terms of highlighting the true beauty that Black women encompass as a whole, as well as the overall value that we bring to society.

I hope that we can start to normalize Black women for more than just being “strong and independent” (although not inherently negative and still an awesome thing!) but also as vulnerable, compassionate, loving, and worthy of receiving love instead of always being the one giving it. I want to see a Black woman in a role like that.

It is great that we are able to have shared experiences with one another within the Black community, but that being said, we are still individuals who carry our own personalities and values, and THAT’S what makes our Blackness beautiful.

In this day and age, society and the media work extremely hard to influence our mindsets, but try not to let the noise put you into a box and stifle your true identity.

You are uniquely you, and nobody else can be that (:

How do you define yourself?